"I am an innocent Black man that was railroaded in
a Tampa, Florida court room, and am now on Florida's Death Row
awaiting the ultimate punishment for a crime that I did not
commit, if I cannot prove my innocence.
At this time let me give you a little history about
myself. My name is Rulford Holton and I am an intelligent 47
year old and have been on Death Row for 14 years now. My date
of birth is April 20. I have made some bad decisions in my
life, bit I am not a killer. I am 5st 8in in height and I
weigh 170lbs, black hair and brown eyes. I grew up in a lovely
culturally diversified neighborhood in Ybor City in Tampa,
Florida. I keep abreast of current topics and can communicate
well with anyone on different subjects. My interests are art,
basketball, jazz, R&B also Van Halen. I have always loved
the art of Salvador Dali and would like one day to attend to
museum. I have been into art since I was 10 years old and I
love it.
My parents have departed this life and I believe they
are with the Lord. Yes, I am a believer in God and I do have
him in my life.
I try to do some work on my case because the attorneys
that the state provides for Death Row inmates are not any good
and they will not really “fight” for me, they will do so
much and that's it. Currently I have been assigned a different
attorney and investigator on my case that I feel really do
believe that I am innocent and will do all they can to help.
But, they really need more help, there is just so much the
state will allow them to do.
I truly believe that one day I will prove my innocence
with some help. I know that every prisoner says that they are
innocent, and that they are not all innocent. But I am
innocent. I am writing this letter to let everyone know in the
free world what's going on, and I am fighting like hell to be
free. I will never give up on that. The circuit judge assigned
to my case hindered my trial attorney in every way that he
could. The prosecutor in the case did everything and anything
to ensure that he won the case. What I mean is that there was
a lot of lying going on by the state. The state attorneys
office got rid of him because there was a big investigation
about his practices and what he had been doing. But again it
was too late for me. The same judge in my case retired from
the bench and became the Hillsborough State Attorney and was
found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. I
think he felt his time had come to be found out? All this had
come about when “Gov. Jeb Bush” called for an
investigation on the “State Attorney”, so he took his own
life.
Public figures are dishonest and not without sin,
including the judge and prosecutor in my case.
Now Death Row and how things really are there. The
cyclical rote of the weary lives of those condemned to die: as
men await the ultimate punishment for the crimes alleged
against them, days turn into months, months turn into years
and years turn into decades. Most of America's condemned are
securely locked away in some states maximum security prison.
Depending on which state a prisoner is sentenced to death in,
he being condemned by society, dreadfully faces unthinkable
consequences for the unthinkable crimes he may be accused of.
Indubitably some of Americas most atrocious criminals sit on
Death Row across the land. This is not a debate of any
particular individuals guilt or innocence. Rather, it is but a
mere glimpse of a day in the life of the condemned.
Contrary to the onslaught of mainstream media hype,
today's prison systems especially maximum security facilities,
are far from being posh country clubs. In fact they remain as
some of the most outdated, rankly dilapidated hell-holes that
may well shock the good conscience of any decent,
compassionate person. Still, in a few of the wealthier states
Death Row facilities have been upgraded to supposedly more
modern conventional housing units. The building is new, and
the paint is fresh. Beyond this, life on Death Row is not a
fantastic experience.
Time seems to loose all significance and the extended
period of solitary confinement is a challenge to the most
stable of souls. Very often this solitude combined with the
general degradation takes it's toll on the frail human psyche.
Each day is a semi-carbon copy of the last with no change
expected in the future. People I have met on Death Row are
optimistic. They have hopes, dreams and a strong will to aid
themselves in contending with the unmanageable predicament of
being sentenced to death. Sadly, many have suffered a re-death
and are already resigned to surrender to the draconian
principle of our republic that seeks justice by inflicting
tortuous deaths upon some of its most helpless citizens. For
the indigent, illiterate, and incompetent prisoner, the truth
of the matter is there is virtually no reason to expect
anything but certain death. On top of that realization, many
suffer abandonment of family and friends who cannot, for one
reason or another, bear the burdens associated with capital
punishment. Still, yet undoubtedly by impetus of natural human
desire, many of the condemned hope to be spared the
unfathomable tragedy of being put to death at the hand of
America's draconic injustice system.
Is capital punishment revenge or deterrence? “I don't
know”, an aspiring politician may sheepishly confess, “But
one thing's for sure. If you want to hold an elected eat in
this republic you better well be willing to kill, because
that's our idea of Justice.”
The penalty of death affects everyone differently, at
least psychologically, so there is no short answer to what an
individual may or may not feel upon the imposition of the
death penalty. It is fair to say the infelicitous experience
is one of the most unique, even when anticipated and can be
the emotional roller-coaster of one's life, particularly if
the defendant is only a juvenile or very young adult. That is
not to say that being sentenced to death is, or should be
considered any less trying on the average adult. At the Death
Row facility where me and others are being housed, inmates are
confined to one man cells 23 ½ hours a day. That is, all day
long every day, unless the inmate is summoned by prison
officials, the medical department, goes to a shower,
recreation, or occasionally receives a visit from a family
member or friend. Each cell is a 7' by 9' cubicle comprised of
three solid concrete walls and the traditional steel grill
serving as the front wall which provides an open view of the
cell to all passers by. Accommodations in each cell, unless it
is a security cell, include a steel bunk coupled with a thin
institutional cotton mat, a locker box for storing personal
possessions, a 12” black and white television, a combination
sink/toilet, and a ceiling mounted fluorescent lamp. There are
fourteen one-man cells on each cellblock, and there are
twenty-four separate wings at this particular facility. This
unit was designed with close security in mind. It's a
technologically advanced structure with remote controlled
locks, doors etc. and throughout each day one can hear the
seemingly incessant buzzing of door-locks and the slamming of
solid steel doors being opened and shut back. There is no
carpet on the floors, or central heat and air-conditioning.
During the winter the cellblocks can be unbearably cold,
during the summer, HOT in a once man cell.
Meals are delivered to the inmate in his cell. Each
inmate is fed three times a day. The regular, but very often
bland and scanty institutional meal served on a plastic food
tray. It is a meager diet hardly sufficient to satiate the
average adult appetite. Prisoners that enjoy the financial
support of family members or friends can counterbalance the
poor diet with canteen items such a sandwiches, candy bars or
chips. Not uncommonly, the indigent prisoners face long hungry
nights, as it is approximately fourteen hours in between the
time that the last evening meal is served and the time
breakfast arrives the next morning. Day to day activities
generally include; talking, playing chess, watching
television, listening to the radio “if the prisoner can
afford to purchase radio”, writing letters to family,
friends, and overworked lawyers, and if the prisoner has the
funds to do so he can purchase hobby craft materials and draw,
paint or crochet as a past time.
Death Row, not unlike any other part of the prison
system is tattered with a diverse group of individuals and
there is no single all-inclusive description that can be
fairly applied to every man condemned to die. While it is true
that there are some egregiously dangerous prisoners that have
been condemned to death, this is the exception rather than the
rule, as there are exceedingly more serial killers and
prisoners convicted of multiple homicides serving life
sentences or less time in the general population of state and
federal prisons throughout the US or A. Some of the prisoners
on Death Row proclaim their innocence outright. Some are
victims of circumstance, others are prisoners guilty of
homicide, but not guilty of first-degree murder, still not
being fortunate enough to have knowledgeably qualified and
experienced trial attorneys, they have been wrongly convicted
of first-degree murder, and subsequently wrongly sentenced to
death. From day to day one can lay back on his bunk and listen
to one legal horror story after another, as disillusioned
inmates desperately attempt to get the next to see the
injustice he has suffered. But legal discourses are not the
only topics of conversation. In fact, there are a lot of
people condemned to die that have astounding insight into many
of our countries societal and cultural juggernauts, very
enlightening discussions occur quite frequently.
Being human, Death Row prisoners also can have a sense
of humor and may spend an afternoon “kicking the game around”,
that is jocularly teasing and jesting with one another. Over
time one can come to know, like and enjoy a genuine friendship
with a fellow inmate. Albeit at the back of one's mind he may
never know whether his friend was once capable of murder.
Still, at the present time two people in similar circumstances
freely reciprocate good will – much needed good will.
There are also bad days on Death Row. Days fraught with
stress, confusion, and indescribable heartache. The hearts of
those condemned to die are not always inerrably callous or
unfeeling. We have all heard the reports on capital defendants
showing no remorse, but I have heard grown men cry into their
pillows. Did anyone take the defendant seriously when he
earnestly apologized and begged for forgiveness for an act the
defendant is still hard pressed to comprehend? It is commonly
argued that Death Row inmates are the worst of all criminal
elements of our society. Such a suggestion is mere propaganda.
Ideally, the Death Penalty was to be carefully ands
deliberately used. Appallingly, today's Death Row prisoner
might be one who accidentally shot someone with a gun believed
to have been unloaded, or a school kid who has foolishly and
ignorantly thrown his life away by taking someone else's life
in a fit of anger or in a dare. Undeniably innocent lives have
been taken by the sometimes mean, sometimes inconsiderate,
sometimes foolish, sometimes careless individual, and these
innocent souls should be greatly esteemed and surrendered over
to the Lord. He is capable of restoring and he will. As for
what to do with those guilty of murder, it seems the majority
of Americans demand an eye for an eye. But no matter how
anyone spins that concept, it will never amount to more than
blood sport and such practice is a black eye to any professed
civilized society.
Let us remember that our LORD once rewarded the humble
and wisest King on earth, because this humble King, amongst
other things, did not ask for the lives of his enemies [see
1st Kings 3:5-15, and 2nd Chronicles 1:7-12]. God has given us
a higher principle and perhaps if our country, and every
country, were to practice this higher principle, the imagined
right to kill would eventually dissolve.
By mercy and truth iniquity is purged, and by fear of
the Lord humans depart from Evil [Proverbs 16:6].
PS. I don't know why males get stuck with this burden,
but it's true throughout the animal kingdom. If you watch the
nature show on the Discovery Channel, you will note that
whatever species they are talking about."
